It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
