I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
