you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
