I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i think i just lost a toe
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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