i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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