I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
