Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
