Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
