two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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