maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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