is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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