I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
