Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
