Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
