I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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