do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
