On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
