we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
