When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
fuck your aforementioned shoe
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
