"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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