dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
