ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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