i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish you could order shots online.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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