i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
