You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm just crazy horny about you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
