You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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