No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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