I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
