Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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