Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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