you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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