Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
