The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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