So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
