who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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