dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
