Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
