You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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