Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
