i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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