What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
