Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize