so that wasnt chicken after all
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
