you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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