so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
