worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
