Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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