You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
