Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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