dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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