Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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