Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
