a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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