Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
