they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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