It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
