If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
