is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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