lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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