6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude. I can hear the air.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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