Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize