I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
